from the Grand Canyon

Dear enormous family of vacationers, please take up the whole sidewalk. You’re in a national park, this is certainly not the place for situational awareness.  And by all means, please deposit your used maps and water bottles anywhere you’d like. 

Yes, now is a perfect time to stop abruptly and take some photos. Pay no attention to anyone trying to pass you, just check your smile in the phone at the end of your selfie stick. I can’t wait to be the grimacing hag in the vacation pics you’ll never look at. 

Tourists, am I right?!

Maybe it’s because I am currently doing a lot of traveling and try do my best to blend in wherever I go, but it seems like people on vacation are the absolute worst. 

My experience of this wonder of the world is forever tainted by sour disdain for slow-moving mobs of humans. 

When I hear that yet another tourist has fallen to their death into the extremely obvious canyon, my reaction is appallingly inappropriate:  Good. 

Heaven help me.